Are you able to advise people?

When a person come to you for advice, do you supply an answer immediately based on the question provided or do you consider all the factors first before even thinking of an answer?

For an example, a person who considers divorcing his/her spouse. Your immediate reaction is to advice against it right? Your advice may not work well.

Do you know the exact circumstances that leads to that decision? Do you see the points of the opposite party? Do you know exactly what the person wants? Is he/she asking you for an opinion, direction, or simply need some ears to listen? Does the person already have some answers in mind and just needs confirmation? Is the person wanting some one to decide so as to shift the blame on the advisor. Is the person totally lost and don't know what to do?

On your part, you may have your own bias in opinion. When you give advice, it is natural that you will apply your own bias to the question on hand. Do you not, in a way, trying to influence people according to your own bias?

There is always a danger of over simplification to an issue. If you are not the analytical type of person, you will probably give a simple solution without consider other factors. Thus, you may give an answer that complicates the issue further.

There are always things that we may not know or understand. No one is able to know all things in the world. We would not be able to give a good advice if we are ignorant of many things. The best answer then is to ask the person to seek better advisor.

You yourself should not be too emotionally involved. You may end up with a wrong advice.

There are a lot of situations where the answer is in the gray area. This is by far the hardest advice to give.

The person who ask advice should not be the only source of information. The reason is very obvious. It may not be objective information.

By now you would have noticed that most of the issues lies in you and not the person who seek advice. The above is to show you what it takes to be and advisor rather that how to be an advisor.

When giving advice you should always try to be neutral and objective. Your advice should be advice and not solution. That is to say, the person who ask the question should decide rather than you decide for them. If the person is indecisive, then you should help the person to come to a decision by weighing all the factors and/or eliminate them one by one till a conclusion is made.

If you really do all these just to answer a question like "where to eat?" I have to ask you not to give advice at all. You don't know what is the question in the first place.

I don't Like You

Very seldom will a person have every one like him/her. There will surely be some one who dislikes you - openly or obliquely.

People like Mahadma Ghandi is well loved by millions yet he is killed by some one who don't like what he does. Other famous people like Abraham Lincoln, John Kennedy, Julius Caesar, Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X and many others are killed by people who don't like them.

There are several reason why people don't like a particular person. The reasons are surprisingly wide ranged. The following are just some of them which I know.

1. Biological reasons. Ever heard of love at first sight? Hate at first sight is just the opposite. Have you ever dislike a person by just the look? Blame it on the chemical reaction between two person.

2. Social reasons. Humans are social animals. We tends to group ourselves together. In grouping, we actually builds walls among ourselves thus creating dislike towards other groups. Racial conflicts are one very common issues of this kind.

3. Religious reasons. It is a very common source of conflict.

4. Idealogical reasons. Communism, Marxism, Capitalism etc. are common idealogies which alienates between people.

5. Political reason. It is a "you die I live" type existence between two opposing political groups.

6. Personal worship reasons. Strange it may sound. Many people are actually followers of others. If a person dislike another, their followers actually shows enimity towards that other person. 

7. Biased reason. Each person has their own biases. If another person shows a different bias then it caused conflict between the two.

8. Office politics reason. Everyone wants to climb to the top. In the process, many will be deliberately steps on others in order to climb. By doing so, it caused ill feelings among people.

9. Behavior reasons. Some people's action simply irritates others. Smokers, drunk, hippies, drug junkies, beggers are those commonly disliked person. Not surprisingly, sales men are also in this group.

10. Psyco reasons. When a person dislikes another, the former will always incite others to do the same towards the disliked person. The former will, rightly or wrongly, influence you towards disliking the person involved.

11. Love reasons. Strange? Actually it occurs everyday. Ever heard of love triangle? There are numerous news about some one being killed for such reasons of love.

12. Envy reasons. Rich and well to do peoples are always envied. There are people who can't stand others because of their well being. It might sound strange. What has my riches to do with you? However, it is not uncommon to see such thing happening. The reason is partly caused by these well to do people "showing off". The other reason is probably due to "I can't have it neither should you".

13. Wierd reasons. Ever heard of a person disliking himself/herself? You may not be familiar with the term "anorexia nervosa". In lay man term it is called "eating disorder". Famous people who suffers from such sickness include Karen Carpenter and Empress Elizabeth of Austria.

14. The ME reason. Never thought of that? Yes! It is you. You don't like things that does not work your way. Any one who don't agrees with you naturally becomes a person you dislike. Some even resort to eliminating oppositions by legal or illegal means. How many kings and queens, in olden days, does not behead people just because they offended the monarchy?

Whatever the reason, one must not resort to violence. We are not barbarians why resort to an act that is against the law?

Guts and Drive

When I am young, I tends to have drive but no guts towards girls. The result is that I become a secret admirer. There is one that I admires a lot and even write poems to her. However, at that time there is no such thing as blogs, twitter, Facebook etc where I can express it (without her name of course). So, nobody knows about it. Nobody will be able to help me.

When I am older, I gets desperate, so I have both guts and drive. Naturally, I gets rejected a few times till my wife come by.

Today, I still have guts but no longer have the drive. After all, I am a married man already. 

When I gets really old, I will have neither the guts or drive. Why? Too old to do anything about it.

So, while you are young and unmarried, make sure you have the drive and guts to go after girls. If not, you can stay in the singles' tribe (单身一族).

For girls you can have it too. Just don't make it too obvious. A little nudge can get your person of interest to have the drive enough to approach you. Of course, the consequence is that you may be rejected. However, no venture no gain. There is nothing wrong to like a boy enough to express your feeling about him. Embarrassed yes, better than regret it right?

Marriage

Traditionally this means the matrimony between a guy and a woman. It is also a vow between the two to support each other.It is generally understood that they will have sex and produce children. However, things has evolved. The following are some "marriages" that is not in the normal sense.

Same sex marriage is a marriage between people of the same sex. This is legal in some countries but is taboo in another. 

Married and not to have child. There are some that agrees not to do it. There are others who are unable to have it. The latter is understandable. 

Child marriage. A marriage between a person of mature age with a child. The two may not have sex till the child is matured. However, this means that the child has not say who he/she is married to.

Human - animal marriage. Practiced by some culture but not necessary legal.

Human - dead marriage. Usually in the form of human - animal marriage. Some culture has this weired practice.

Marriage with a prenuptial agreement. A contract between two person before marriage. I like to call it conditional marriage.

Human and virtual marriage. In Japan there is one guy called Sal9000 who marry a virtual character called Nene Anegasaki, a character in the Nintendo DS game, Love Plus. I like to call it electronic marriage.

Ever heard of married to your work? Work has become more important than family. Although figurative, it should be included in my list.

One to many marriage. It should not be in this list but is worth mentioning. Generally, it is called polygamy. Muslims are allowed to have up to 4 wives. Kings and sultans can have thousands. Some culture practices it while others prohibits it. 

Evolution? Sigh!

Sense of Insecurity

All creatures has a protective feature - sense of insecurity. Event plants reacts to threats. It is one act that protects them from being eaten alive in the world of "big eats small".

Although humans has come to the top of the food chain, they never get out of the sense of insecurity. Most people are still afraid of darkness. With a few exception, many will have eerie feeling when faced with unknown. 

When you are poor, you feel insecure about the future. When you are filthy rich you are afraid you will be kidnapped. When you are in love or married, you feel threatened when an opposite sex talks with your partner. When your work place talks about retrenchment, you feel that you are the next one on the chopping list.

There are countless opportunities that will cause you to feel insecure. It is this insecurity that caused people to become violent. Violence is a form of fighting back the insecurity sense. It is not the right way but many people feel that it is the only way. The reason - they cannot afford to be the looser.

Many others tries to go the opposite way. They shunt it all together. They find peace with their religion. Buddhist, Hindu, Christianity and other religions have sanctuary for such people. I must stress that not all people who went into the sanctuary does it for the same reason.

There are a few who are so afraid of insecurity that they become paranoid. A few actually ends up with mental institutions.

In actual fact, having a sense of insecurity is a good thing. It helps humanity to progress. If humans are so content with their lives then there will not be improvement. Although some of these "improvements" actually brings catastrophe to many others in the form of war, generally human thrives in insecurity.

For small fries like us, a sense of insecurity will drive us to work harder in order to secure a future. Just don't over react towards the sense of insecurity.

Why people acts strangely

The brain is a piece of organ that is still a scientist's treasure chest. They have yet to find the key to it. When people acts strangely, there are many reasons. However, the common thing among the people is that they all think that what they are doing are correct and that is the only thing that occupies their mind at the moment.

Certain emotions tends to occupy every thoughts while it occurs. Fear occurs when we faces danger, uncertainty. Whey you have fear, all your abilities tends to be forgotten. For example, some people are fearful of spiders, but they forget that using a finger, they could easily squash it.

Love is blind. This is a common occurrence. When you are in love you will ignore a lot of things that are wrong. That's why a lot of people wake up after they are married and realize that their partners are not what they are expected to be. Some parents loved their child so much that they ignore all the wrongs done by their children.

Anger often ends in violence. Cantonese has coined the term "火遮眼" to describe rage. You will stop reasoning when it occurs. In some courts, one can claim temporary insanity to avoid being jailed. It shows how uncontrollable rage is. One should always try to control it at all times.

Hatred is one subtle emotional feeling which is persistent and subtle. Some religion will advise you to forget hatred because hatred often lead to vengeance and ends up with violence.

Most people will be able to suppress such emotional upsurge in time. There are people who will never get out of it. Ignoring those who are biologically incapable, it is difficult to get out of this emotional spiral. Some people will end up in mental institutions others have to resort to taking medicine to suppress such emotion.

Simple thing can turn out to be complicated

Internet is a very interesting place. You have all kinds of web addresses. I was playing with a Firefox addon that blocks user defined web address. However, there is a problem with the definition list. The first item always show as blank. So, I added a dummy address ABC.COM. It worked for my purpose.

Later I was curious as to whether ABC.COM does exists. So I tried the address. It turned out that it was owned by ABC Network.

I then think why not use ABC123.COM. Surely not so coincidental right? It turned out that the address was owned by a "home improvement" company.

Getting curious, I tried 123ABC.COM. It turned out that Cpanel owns it.

I get frustrated, so I tried A1B2C3.COM. To my surprise, it is in use also. The web offers computer software downloads.

I am really amazed. Such a simple thing as finding a unused address can actually turn out to be four times unlucky.

A final note - don't try abc123456.com. Some one hogs the address and offers it for sale too.

Destiny?

"听天由命","人的命,天注定.命运不可改变","谋事在人，成事在天". These are some of the old sayings of Chinese. The English equivalent is "fate" and "destiny".

Is it true that we are fated to be in some destiny that is beyond our control? If it is yes then may I ask who know what is their destiny in advance? If nobody knows then how would you know that is the destiny? 

The result is there to be seen but how would you know that it is the destiny and not something else? If I toss a coin and it end up as head. Is that destiny or chance? I could always says it is chance right? can you prove that it is destiny instead?

Actually "fate and destiny" is just an excuse used to comfort people or themselves when thing does not go their way. It is a negative thinking that should not be used. 

You worked hard towards a result. What ever result that comes out is the product of your hard work. Success or not is not important. The important part is that you should put your best effort into doing it. Obviously you would want it to be successful but there are just too many variables that may not be within your knowledge and control. Chinese saying "胜败乃兵家常事". 

We may try but we may not succeed. If we have not tried, then we will never succeed. The "destiny" is in our control. Abraham Lincoln has quite a number of failures. He did succeed at least once - become president of USA.

Christian Prayer

We pray before we venture into anything or during crisis moments. When the prayer is not answered then what? Some just accept the fact while others may even leave their faith. I have seen people change religion just because of the idea that god can grant them what they want.

We are told "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Mat 7:7). The is one the many verses that is often used to encourage us to pray.

Does that equals to "I can ask for ANYTHING"? Does it means when I pray I will always get my prayers answered? Far from it. 

"Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts." (James 4:3)

Proverbs 1:28-31 -- "Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; they will see me diligently, but they will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord, they would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke. Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way, and be filled to the full with their own fancies."

"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou [wilt]." (Matthew 26:39).

"Eli Eli Lama sabachthani"? (Mat 27:26).

On one end we are encouraged to pray but on the other end it is obvious that prayers may not be answered. Even Jesus himself did not get all his prayer answered.

One thing is sure - James 4:3 tells you that prayers will not be answered if you ask for selfish purposes.

Another thing is that If it is not within God's purpose, your prayer is not answered. I am sure every one knows about the two "world wars". I am sure there are moments in history where many Christians die because of their belief. Why are their prayers not answered?

Paul has a "thorn in the flesh". He prayed for it to be removed three times but the answer is “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2Cor 12:7-9)

The Sermon on the Mount has many blessings. However, if you just look at the first 9 verse and ignores the last 3 (Mat 5:1-12), then you missed the essence of the sermon. The last 3 verse speaks about blessings in persecution and sufferings. Being Christian is not just plain sailings.

My conclusion is - Do pray but bear in mind that if God grants your prayer it is a plus plus otherwise it is normal. Do not stop praying because there is no answer. 

Keeping Still

I used to tell my ex-colleague to keep still. He seems to be very impatient while waiting. Actually I am very wrong. We are actually moving at all times. Let me give you an account.

1. Our hearts are pumping all the time.
2. Our blood are circulating all the time.
3. Our brain are working all the time sending and receiving signals.
4. Our digestive systems are working all the time extracting nutrients.
5. Our cells dies and being replaced all the time.
6. Our skin are being replaced by new dead cells.
7. Our hair is growing all the time.
8. Our skin moves in the area around the chest when we breath.
9. Oxygen and nutrients are exchanged between the blood and the body all the time.
10. We are moving around the axis of earth at 0.5Km/sec.
11. We are moving around the sun at 30km/sec.
12. We are moving around our milky way galaxy at around 250km/sec
13. We are moving in relation to other local groups of galaxies at 300km/sec.
14. Who knows whether the whole universe is actually moving. (Movement as realized by Einstein is only measured in relation with something).

So if you say you are keeping still, it could be an understatement. Only certain part of your body are keeping still - dead cells and the inorganic part of the bones and nails. The keeping still part is only in relation to the surface you are standing on. Everything else is moving.

Self Dicipline

Thousands of South Koreans since 2003 brave sub-zero temperature to attend boot camp organized by Commandos. They want to get into shape and build self-discipline. http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE70J1HV20110120?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+reuters%2FoddlyEnoughNews+%28News+%2F+US+%2F+Oddly+Enough%29

Getting into shape may be true. Self-discipline? I can't agree. When you are in boot camp, you are disciplined by people. You have no schedule of your own. You are forced to complete the task given to you. How could that equals to self-discipline?

Self-discipline starts with "self". It means that you yourself is the subject as well as object. It means that you should do it alone. You do your best to complete the task regardless of physical and mental difficulties. That is self-discipline.

For example, I set out to complete a 100KM cycling trip alone. It is a goal I set. I worked on it regardless of my physical condition. Even though I have to stop twice due to sheer tiredness and muscle condition, I continued on to complete it. On the last few KM, every stroke of the paddle is a constant reminder to give up. When the last hill is right ahead of me and that hill is the highest ever on the whole trip. My leg muscle even give up on me. It started to cramp. The speed is even slower than a person jogging. That did not deter me even from getting down the bike to push it up hills. It is a cycling trip is it not? Pushed on I did and completed it I do.

People called me crazy to do that. So does thousands of Koreans who attended the boot camp. The only difference is that they rely on others and peers to push them. I rely on myself to push me. The latter is much more tough because the knowledge that I could give up is unchallenged and easy. 

There are times when we set out to do things. Is there any one to push you like that in boot camp? No. You are actually all alone. There  may be your loved ones and your friends to encourage you but there is not a single one that pushed you to the limits like that in boot camp. Self-discipline is the only element that drives you on. Therefore, to build up self-discipline, you have to do it all alone. Let you push yourself. If you could hang on to your own pushing, you have achieved self-discipline.

Of course, I am not encouraging every one to do things alone. It is good to have peers to nudge you on. I is good to have people cheer you on. It is good to have people who share your passion.  It is much easier to achieve your goals in this way.

You can't blame me for doing the extremes.  I have been doing that since I am young. There have not been any help all these years. There are none that could share my passion even though I talked to many about it. I am used to it already.

I am not a social non-conformist. It is simply that what  I do things that happens to be not what people do around me. May be I a am a social misfit. Who cares? At least I know what should and should not do. I may not have a chance to be normal but  I do encourage others to be normal. That is good enough for me.

Lord's Prayer

Our Father,

Hallowed be your name

Your kingdom come

Your will be done...

Give us daiy bread

Forgive us our sins...

Lead us not into temptation...

Many scholars tends to group them in two triplets. I have a slightly odd interpretation. I pair them in the order of their group.

"Hallowed be thy name" refers to how great is God's name. "Give us daily bread" shows how humble we are. We only concerns about food for the day. (There is a whole lot of meaning to "give us our daily bread" but it is not in this context).

"Your kingdom come" shows the power of God. "Forgive us our sins" show how week we are in keeping even ourselves out of sins.

"Thy will be done" shows the determination of God. "Lead us not into temptation" shows how frail we are in our will power.

Mix the parings  in any other order and it will not sound right. Some may say I am wrong to mix and match words. Well, you may want to take it as me playing with words as usual but at least it is logical right?

Just in case people say I copy some one's idea. I could have read some articles that does the same pairing. Just can't remember where.

Self centered minds

When we were young, our minds are very simple. We look at things in a simple way. When we want it we ignores everything and only focus on the things we want. We fight with our brothers and sisters for the things we want. We want our parents to pay full attention to us only. Our parents have no idea to teach us in pulling our focus away from the things we wanted. So, we are brought up with this mindset.

When we grow older, our focus turns to our soul mate. During courtship, the other person becomes our whole world, there is nothing that can stop us from getting the person we want. We will stop at nothing to win the person. When things don't turn up the way we wanted, we are heart broken. Some of us may even do stupid things like committing suicide. Why? It is the only person in the world and without it our life is empty.

At work, our minds are so intense on getting to the top. We will eliminate any competitors by any means. For money, we will do anything just to get it. Some of us ends up as addicts in gambling, drinking, sex. It has been our focus and there is nothing else that matters. We don't mind our family gets broken. We don't care whether our family suffers. We only want the thing we desire.

Our religion is sacred. We do anything to defend it. We would die for our god. There is none but the all mighty. Anyone who goes against it or seemingly go against it is our enemy. We will do anything to defend our god.

We get very upset when encountering with one person who says or do something to hurt us. It is due to the fact that we focus too much on what the person says or do and ignores the fact that it is only that person who says that. If you find that many others says the same thing then there is a real reason that what was said is true. If it is not the case then why get upset by just ONE person?

What happened to us? Nothing actually. We are just being taught from young to focus on the thing we want and to get or hold on to it for dear life.

Is there anything wrong about being focused? There are many people who just cannot focus and lived a life of poverty. There are just many others who just followers and need to be told what to do.

Actually, there is nothing wrong about being focused. Many great scientists produced great result because they are focused. Many great things are achieved because people are focused. Many great story were told because there are people who focused.

Then, you may ask why all the negetive views mentioned earlier? Actually, the fundamental issue with being focus is that you tends to ignore the environment around you. You tends to be selfish and wanted to eliminate all opposition to your focus. The result is that many people do harm to others while being focused. You may even harm yourself by doing so.

It is allright to be focused. However, in doing so, we need to know one thing. Does our focus affect others including yourself? Does our focus harm the environment? How many of you will think this way?

Some religious people will die for their religion. In the course of doing so, they inevitably targetted innocent people. Is that the right thing to do? 

On the less sever side, some people steps over others, back stabbing, slandering and every ugliy act just to climb to the top. In the process, many people were harmed by the act. It is true that many others did the same. But is that the only way to climb?

On the emotional side, you loved some one. If the relationship does not ends up the way you wanted, does that means that the world ends with it. Would you do stupid things just because of that one person? 

We need to learn to focus on things the right way. It is allright to focus. It is not allright to take the focus as the only thing in the world and that there is nothing else beside it. It is not proper to harm others in the process of focusing. It is not alright to harm even yourself if you lost your focus.

What ever focus you are concentrating on is just a spot in your life. It is not your entire life. There are just too many focus in your life that you need to have. Gaining or loosing one focus is not the end of life. It is just the beginning of anohter focus. Animals know when to give up even when it means starvation or losting their family members. The primary aim is to preserve self.  Why should you, being the most intelligent animal, think otherwise.

Free

According to Marriam Dictionary, the word freedom is defined as "the quality or state of being free". A further definition is  "the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action". 

Oh yes! Everyone loves freedom. However, can we really do so? If everyone does exactly as what is described then the whole world will be engulfed in chaos. Nobody will obey rules, they will go wild. Survival of the fittest will be the rule. Now, who wants to live in such barbaric and primitive world?

Some will say that I go to the extremes. Am I? Just look at the anarchy that occurs around you. When there is a disaster occurring, looting and robbing and killing begins since there is no law to restrain those who wants freedom to do whatever they want. You might say that it only happens to those who are lawless in nature not all the people does that. In saying so, you are neglecting the human nature.

When we are young, we are controlled by our parents. How many of you would say that you are the most obedient child in the family. You followed ever single commands by your parents. Admit it! Everyone of us will not want to comply to our parents' commands.

When we are teenagers, we have a mind of our own. This is the stage of rebellion. We are more bold in going against our parents' commands. We do not want to be bound by all the pressures of growing up. We hate being pressurized by peers to conform to the society or groups. We hate being a conformist. We want to be free to do what we wanted.

After we graduate, we have to find a job. Again we are thrown into another life of slavery. We have to be bound by the laws of the country, society, country, family even ourselves. Where is the freedom that we longed for. No wonder most of us would want to take holidays to have a break from all that.

Once we got children, our live of slavery is even greater. We toil day and night to ensure that our children are well taken care of. We have to let go of a lot of activities just to take care of them. How much relief if we could just get out of this situation just for a day.

At our old age, we lacks mobility that we have in our younger days. We are weak and feeble. Now we longed for the freedom of our youth. We cannot escape the ultimate fate - death. 

Now, some of us will be spared of some of that stages of life. None will actually escape all the stages. We are bound regardless by some rules that was imposed on us and there are little option for us to be free of it.

Does that means we don't have freedom? Well, there are, if it is within the bounds of the society we live in. We are free to do things that does not harm the country, the society,  the people and ourselves.

Many of us does not realize that there are many others that have much less freedom than us. Many people are restrained from speaking out against unjust restrictions on their speech, action and thinking. Simple thing like being allowed to drive a car can even be imposed on the female gender in some countries. These are the things that we should not be restricted. This is the freedom that these people want. It is not a freedom to do anything.

Ignorance is Bliss

When we were young, we lived a life of simplicity. We trust every word others say. We are often cheated by others who tell lies. Our parents often does it to pacify us and to distract our attention. Many of them simply give promises but never keep it.

As we grow older, we began to distinguish what is true and what are lies. However, due to our inexperience we often fell for beautiful lies that sounded authentic. We often met people who tell us one thing and does another behind our back. We often encounter people who tell lies about us even in our absence. We often met people who will mislead us in the wrong direction.

As age grows, we began to be a bit wiser by distinguishing the truths from the lies, the faces behinds those lies and the real aim of those who told lies. It is like an all out warfare between people. There were attacks and there were defences. All these were done by just words.

When you come to an age where nothing actually matters already. You will hear less and less words.  Words are still spoken. The ears have already a built in filter and automatically let the words go through one and goes out the other. 

Human being is the only one that uses spoken words. It started with just a few simple sound to evolve into today's complex language. People began to use words to express more than what is spoken. It is so complex that other methods of understanding a person has to be used. Things like expression, body language, environment etc are used just to figure out what is the actual meaning.

Practically any one that wants to convey a message without actually saying it uses different ways to convey the message. If you know a person well enough, you can even guess what actually the person's message. There were some saying that old couples will convey message to each other without even saying it.

People always say something that is closely related to the environment. Do you know that greetings in different country actually has a background to it. "Good Morning" is often a greeting about the weather. Chinese Hokkien uses "Jia ba buay" (have you eaten) as a greeting. It actually derives from a period of hardship. Malay uses "apa kabar" (what is the news) and "selamat pagi" (safe morning). "Salam" in Arabic means "peace" etc. Ancient books often uses words like that. Modern people usually try to interpret those words in the environment of the time.  It is therefore very important to know what is the environment at the time the words were spoken. Using words that does not suit the environment often lands you in trouble.

It is then a headache to know what people are saying. There were always jokes about woman saying one thing and actually means the exact opposite (no offence). There were always occasions that you do not want to hurt people by saying the exact word. You will twist the words so that it does not hurt or offend the person. Sometimes you will have to tell white lies to protect the person. Often, you will actually lied just to get out of a predicament.

Thus, we live in a world that often use words but means another thing. It is then a skill to learn about what is spoken and what it actually means. It is really a burden in trying to understand what is behind every word that is said. When you had it enough, you tends to keep away from people. 

How I longed to go back to a life of a child. They are simple minded. Speaks what they think. Actually, do you really think that kids are that simple? They are fast learners. 

In conclusion, I would like to quote Thomas Gray's poem "Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College (1742)." "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.".