Self-esteem or Approval-Seeking

Self-esteem according to Merriam Webster is "a feeling of respect of yourself and your ability". Approval seeking is a child's behavior to look toward parents' approval.

There have been numerous people who encourages self-esteem. Without self-esteem you cannot be yourself. You end up being just living on peoples' view instead of being yourself.

We were brought up by our parents. Often we look for the approval of our parents when we do something. Our acts were built entirely on this relationship. When we grow up, we tends to bring this behavior with us. We surround ourselves with people who approves us and we get upset when people disagrees with us. There are even people who thinks that they are nothing without other's approval.

These two views are totally on opposite ends. It is bad if you end up in either extreme. It is, therefore, important to know how to balance between the two ends. On the one hand you should not be governed by other's view. On the other hand, without others' feedback, you won't know whether you are too cocky or arrogant. The difference is whether you value yourselves better than others' valuation.

My personal view is that you should be yourself first then gauge whether you have gone overboard in being yourself. For example, there are some trending going on. Do you follow the trends so as to be on line with others or you based on your judgement that the trending does not suits you thus does not follow. Just because others do it does not means that you should do it. Obviously, you won't get to be inline with others but at least you can be yourself. You may even lost friends who insists you follow the trend.

When you do things differently, others will start to oppose you. You will have to first examine your acts to see whether the thing you do is right. Self-examination is the first step to prevent yourself being in the wrong. Often it is just gray area which it is not wrong either way. There are areas which is difficult to say whether it is right or wrong especially when it deals with somebody with authority.

In conclusion, do not be just followers. Have a mind of your own if you have already examined yourself whether you are right in doing so. Obviously, you could be wrong.

Don't just based on the opinion of others around you. Seek opinion from knowledgeable people/source who are known to be doing the right thing. If you have done your homework and still thinks that it is right then by all means stick to it till someone proves you wrong.